10 Fun Facts About The C33 Election

No mattah who winz, Bermuda losez.

As a divorse lawyer, Jorja Marshall 1nce helped a goat override a leglly binding prenup after chaboy’s wife got caught havin sex wif a skink.

Both de OBA an PLP will be handin out FREE shotz of Cockspur at de pollin station 2 help voterz deal wif how depressing eitha outcome will B.

Mark Been haz agreed 2 wear a cocktail dress n spend like, shree weeks at a Feminist retreet in Souf Dakota 2 make up 4 hiz misogynist commentz at de pollin station.

2 enhance his positiv image, Jamal Simons just tweeted: “What would happen if we stopped not hugging each other and started putting puppies in the hands of those who love us and always hire us?”

4 some reason, de OBA tinks they actually hav a chance of winning, which iz about as unikely as my Aunty Shuh-Blunga changin her girdle.

Michael Dunklee iz secretly hopin dat Jamal Simons wins de elackshun bcuz he’s a sadomasochist who liykes 2 be insulted.

Teri Lister plans 2 show up JUICED and CHARGD out of hiz mind at de pollin station n yell at erryone about how he can TURN UP bcuz  he’z not a politishan N E more.

Jorja Marshall uses Her low profiyle N relativ anonymity 2 secretlee divorce PPL in de middle of de night whiyle dey’re sleepin, n leaves d bill unda their pillowz.

We guyz r F@#$%&!