Introducing ViseVurds wif Aunty Paulette and Brother Cyril

Ay buh!

We wha like to take de time to introduce ah newest contributors to de family, Aunt Paulette & Brother Cyril Burgess.

Aunt Paulette & Brother Cyril “Goatsie” Burgess JP, MP, CF&P have been married for a blissful 30 years. More commonly known shru de naybourhood as Aunt Paulette & Uncle Cy, de lovely couple have spent their time not only sharing their love fa de community but also spent the early years of their retirement building de National Puppet Party from the ground up. However, due to de loss in de 2012 eleckshun to de OBA and in light of the recent budget cuts, Brother Cyril was asked to kindly vacate his position as opposition leader, forcing the party into early remission. The courageous couple have now joined forces to help educate and stimulate de minds of Bermudians on de rock and in foreign from a different platform.

Earlier we had friends message us questions they needed advice on, listen to de #ViseVurds.

“Dear Aunt Paulette & Brother Cyril,

What is the best way a mom on minimum wage can budget in order to pay rent, belco, digicel, buy groceries, buy a buss pass, and still have money to save?” - Mama Headaches

Dear Mama Headaches,

Well first umma firm believer in the old St. David’s proverb “If You Ca Walk You Ca Work” because he who don’t work, don’t eat! Can I get ah Amen?! Mhm, get creative, if they’re too young to pack groceries (about 3-6 years old) send them out to East Broadway mornings before school and have them sell loquats to morning commuters or something like that…nobody does anything like that yet, so jump on it before somebody does!

Now that ya walking in increase (because you clurrly listened to Aunt Paulette’s adwice), letz talk about how you’ll deal with ya billz…ya gotta go down PriceRite or Hunts or wannadem wurhouse placez an get a couple casez ah candlez and a large size cooler. Then ya gotta go down Arnold’s or de gas station and get a big bag of ice, that’s gon be ya new fridge. Take ya battle supplies (as I affectionately like to call em) home and speak a lil cancellation notice over ya belco and digicel billz…now it might take ya children a lil while to get used to ya new, natural living conditionz but they’d be alright, electricity and modern technology’s for the birds. That should free up a sizeable chunk of ya fundz which you can now use towards ya bus pass and groceries for de house. Problem solved. However, if this seems like itz too extreme for you to handle then I suggest you call Sheilah Coopah.

checkalater!
Aunt Paulette

Mama Headaches....

Now lemmetellyou, back in my day we ank have no Digitalcel, no Myspacebook. We ank have no bus pass, and Mama lemmetellyou we jus about had Balco, so i ank’een used it nahdays. Why you think ya Nana always going upside ya head fa leaving de fridge open or de lights on? Maybe dat why ya got a headaches, CHINGAS! All you whipahsnappahs got all dees privileges hurr me? Back in my day, ah’s up at 4am sun, rain or hurricane walking four parishes just to get to de central school, twice a day, arry day. I even had to get home before dark,to do my homework in de sunlight so i dont get de strap de naxt day fa missing homework. Bus Pass, you hear dis girl Paulette? She lucky she ank hafta dip vatah to boil fa baffs!

Wanna save money, listen to Aunt Paulette and go old school, send some bie some stamped mail instead of ah whatsapp message (yes Uncle Cyril got whatsapp). Leadde bus pass alone, walk more, so de healthcare ank cost ya soul. Een tho I ank had insurance since John Swan vas premier, Lord, knows umma need insurance someday

 Brother Cyril “Goatsie” Burgess  

AY BUH! Ask ya own question and see it answered by Aunty and Uncle! Leave a comment below and look out fa dem next week!