safe Clafe: Cannabis Legalization & Some Bye Crashing Into a Wall

So YAH,

my 12th cousin/grenny hybrid Milk-Bruntha wuz tellin me de otha day dat sum mug bedren yukked his car in 2 de somaset polees station cuz he wuz 2 juiced. As sum 1 obssesd wif uncoverin de whole truth, i dug deepr n found out wut RLLY happend: Dis bie is bein unfarely cast as a muglet by de media when in realty, hes a HERO. mah explayn:

Apprntly on de nite in question, de popo on duty at de station wurr takin part in a tradishonal west end ritual where officerz take turnz beeting each otha unconscios wif a 12 lb. wedge of cheez, wake each otha up wif smellin saltz, sing an anchient chant about how boasty it is 2 b from somaset, then beet each otha unconscios again wif an even BIGGR wedge of cheez (betwn 36-79 lbs.). B4 u judge, dis is an age-old ritual rootd in our rich locl heritage. NE WAYZ, on de nite in question, de officrs got a bit 2 carryed away n were havn such a good time dat dey forgot 2 leav 1 person conscious 2 wake erryone else up in d event of a emergncy! Litrally erry single popo wuz passd out on de floor in a circle. As fate wuld hav it, 1 of de wedgez of cheez had rolled up aganst de door of de station, wedgin it shut so no 1 culd get in or out. DE DRIVER in queschin, who is currntly bein unfairly chargd wif impeared driving, had actually tried knockin on de station door first, but when yaboy lookd thru de window an saw that all de officerz wurr passd out, he wunted 2 save dem by crashin his car thru de station wall n givin deym all mouf 2 mouf. Unfor2nately he didnt hav his glasses on dat day n crashd thru de wrong wall, BUT de good intenchins wurr dere n now de polees r trying to make him d scapegoat to covr up dere own negligince!!!! WAKE UP PPL! de media is lyin 2 u.

Regardin herb leglization, erry1 is givin Grichael Prunkley a hard tyme jus bcuz he is litrlly de squarest person on d face of planet earth, BUT derez a reeson he’s like dat, n guyz shuldnt be quick 2 judge. Apparntly de Minister haz a medical condishon/syndrom called M.U.G. (Ministerial Uninspired Gibberish) dat biologiclly inclines yaboy towardz sayin d muggst thing possble that nobody wunts 2 hear!!! In realty, he’s actully PRO-LEGALIZATION, but cant verblly express it bcuz of his unfortunat affliction. 4 example, when he sez somethin like “I refuse to believe that Bermudians are in favour of people being legally allowed to carry up to 40 joints on their person”, wut hes actully meaning 2 say is “I bun so much high grade on a daily basis that it’s unbelievable, and fully support the swift and immediate bunning down of Babylon, aka Myself” (direct translaytion). Apprntly he’z now workn wif a speech theripist to help ppl understnd him better, but deez tings take time n we shuld giv him de benifit a de dout.

Remember ppl, alwayz b questining erryting around u. d media is noffin but pies, lies and MOR pies! dnt get me wrong, pie is pretty safe, but when u mix is wif LIES, its not somethin I’d wunt 2 taste……wuld u?