To Fall or Not To Fall (A Grand Atlantic Soliloquy)

To fall, or not to fall: dat durr is de question:
Whether she’s boastier  fa two byes ta be sufferahs
of de crisses view across from Swizzle
Or to pull a swanny into the sea beneath

And by opposing end deez politics? To dive: or to drink;

No more; and by a drink I mean, guys end

De stress of de nooze, warning us of new gates
De dings I hear buh, ’tis ah perplexed nayshin

An’we ca’een criss. To dive, to drink;
To drink: perchance on de beach: ah, durr lies de rum;

For dat rum on de beach is wha de morning paper uses opinions of

But fa de beach below, ah need a towel to wipe off de sand from de fall,
So de parties wont be vax: cuz no sand inya car, durr’s de respeck
Dat makes de neighbours want to be in my life;

Fa dem hardheaded byes deal vif de hurrcanes of time,
De parties misinform, and de whole island keeps consuming
De dings dey spy on, shru blinds vif pure loopholes today,
De incompetence guys offered, and some dun’een curr
Been patient fa so long, but only 2 byes wanna stay,
Party rahn Swizzle but de neighbour don’t wanna play

Cuz one bounce is mug, if only 2 guys are durr,

Cuz all de guy does is complain, saying ya cheating & lies
But hammas dread de crumbling of de cliff,

The undiscover’d mugness of de fall,

No homeowner returns, stuck pon de rocks,

And then um all like “fack buh, this is mug

Can guyz please come rebuild me? Safe, G.L.”

But ego does make muglets of us all,

And thus durr cannot be a resolution,

It’s silly hurr on de West End of Berm,

Whurr shady contracts of great capital gain,

Wif dis regard have caused a storm of sh*t,

And learn’d de name of mugness – O.B.A!

My fair Bermudians! Safe, in thy blessinz:

Let’s all wail back some Swizzle.

Ya boy Clafe’!