9 Dingz You’Sha Never Ask Bermudians

Now, we all reading de header like, “oh fack, wha this bie saying?!”, cuz I thought Bermudians whurr de friendliest people in de world and don’t get me wrong, Bermudians are criss(translation: wicked awesome) but if you want ya exchange wif a Bermudian to go smoothly then this is de article for you!

9 Dingz You’Sha Never Ask Bermudians

You’sha never ask a Bermudian what to take when ya sick...

Wintah coming arahn and she’s nuffin like ah lil home remedy to avoid de dr bills and that 7 hour wait at KEMH, but unless you wanna walk rahn Bermy  wif a stupid brown papah bag on ya pigeon  chest that stink like lemon and garlic, and want to drink Father John, you might wanna avoid this

You’sha never ask a Bermudian, "How's your family?"

Greetings are normal practically everywhurr and prolly even more friendlier in Bermy. You ca either have a good day by sayin “GOOD MAWNIN!” or bad one forgetting to – but de ding is – keep It simple cuz asking a Bermudian, “how’s ya family?” or “How’s ya mama doing?” could cost you 45-3hours of ya life learning every single aspect of recent family drama, who some cousin you dunno going wif  to Aunt Curtie’s doctor visit today to shave her corns..... Sers, it gets heavy like dat

And if you get into de convo,

 You’sha never ask a Bermudian, “Who so-n-so’s checking?”

Jesus take the wheel because that convo gonna turn into who that bie let go in front of dem to de water fountain in P3 twenty years ago that made dem their girlfriend/boyfriend

And dun’een think about askin wha political party a Bermudian is for...

See de ding is, Bermudians love to talk, and, Bermudians love to complain – politics brings out both which is similar to eating a sour mat From Treats while standing barefoot in Horseshoe Bay parking lot in August.  

Jus’ saying...

Or ask a Bermudian to make a certain time

Oh ya burfdee party starting at 1pm? That’s nice... we lot gonna come shru rahn 4pm, if lucky. Oh... and don’t forget to save us a plate of food that you start serving at 1:30 or guys gonna be vex!

Or , “Aye, where you stay too don?”

Cuz if de answer is right we all know that leads to...

 “What time ya goin up di road?”

Cuz lord knows ya gonna get hit wif either two replies;

1. some bie getting vex that ya tryna get dem to leave which resorts into a wall sitting convo about life or,
2. “Dunno bah! Hurr's a bus ticket tho!” #transstruggle

Or, “when ya going away (foreign)?”

Asking a Bermudian when they going foreign is simply code for, “Dun umma need you pick up 346377588807975668446642585 dings for de yard from Walmart, Old navy, Target, home depot, etc etc...

 And it’s a known Bermudian sin to not tell ya close friends you going away. Friendship deal breaker for real real fam

And finally, you sha def never ever ever ever ask a Bermudian for Directions

Asking a Bermudian for directions is like tryna learn portuguese, German, and Spanish in 10 mins. Not only will you learn ah new language but you’ll also learn about historic landmarks,  find a new road ya never seen,  some old shops and of course ya gonna learn wha’s by Bongy's Auntiez house... you know de green one by [insert old landmark]