Ah Tourist Guide to Bermuda Day

*If you need a translation, you can find the translation in RED.*

AY BUH!

 She’s dat time of de year whurr Bermudians migrate from every corner of de island to come together in de sunshine and enjoy family, food, drinks while kickin off summer in Bermuda. Bermuda Day is summers way of letting us know dis de season to smell BBQ, flex on boats and debate who’s de better cupmatch team but let’s not get too far ahead of ourselves nah.

 

Wif new dings happenin, I sat dahn wif #TeamBERMEMES and hurr’s a list of a wha deez biez think ca make yah Bermuda day a wun fa de books!

 

If you’re in town for Bermuda Day, here’s how to have great, safe fun!

 Firsts dings first!

 Do wear yah sunblock.

One ding, she's gon be roasting hurr me? I mean she’s gon be so hott (not de likkah equivalent term) dat if you ank got sunblock, yah gonna know de true definition of “oh de pain!”

 

Find the highest SPF of sunscreen you can find and be sure to pack and use it. Often.

 

DO take a rag wif you.

Like we lot said, she’s gon be a toasty one and nobody tryna wine wif someone sweating like. Bermudians take like 5 freshes in de summer, you think guyz wanna wine up a sweaty person after they just spent haff de rent on ganzees fa de weekend? Nah

 Carry a washcloth and/or hand towel with you. Cleansing wipes won’t hurt either. 

 

DO understand dat Alcohol is served in errding but a red cup...

So if yah of age...

If you are over 18, you may partake in libations. And libations are everywhere. Many a visitor has tried to keep up with the locals. Not possible. Pace yourself.

 

DO drink and embrace de unique tastes of Bermy’s Swizzle of each camp

if dem biez ank stingy and share…

Rum Swizzle is water of the summer. As you walk around the parade site - or the beach - you may be offered a sampling (or 3). Go ahead and test the swizzle. Become one with the swizzle.

 … and if you DO drink Swizzle, level out de liquids.

 

After yurrs of parading pon Front Street and actin wuffless we lots figured out de science to dis so let’s break it dahn fa you lot.

if you guzzle dahn 10oz of Swizzle (no matter who’s) drink 20 oz of water

 But the swizzle will creep on you, so, pace yourself. And drink twice as much water as you do swizzle. It also helps to avoid direct sunlight as much as possible.

Trust us on dis wun - you DON’T want to end up crippled, hungover on some random biez steps, in de bushes wif only swim trunks on, locked up or on BERMEMES de day after

Read this phonetically, and make sure it does not happen to you. 

 

DO getcha greeze on!

Nothing says summer on de rock like a plate of peas n rice, potato salad, bbq chicken, spanish rice, mac n cheeze, and coleslaw poppa!

 

Eat like you are on vacation!! None of this is vegan, organic or gluten free. The food has flavor

. 

DO free up yuhself, have fun tryna drop skanks wif de locals een tho both parties might look ridiculous

Don’t be stiff. Let the music guide you. Have fun.

 

DON’T free up too much and ya durr caught winin up in de street wif ya some fine ding and ya significant odda gets vex or you end up traumatising ya children cuz they finally found out how they was made.

Be considerate of your traveling companions while dancing in the streets with the fine locals. 

DO join in de Gombeyswhen you hear de Gombey beat and follow dem up de street.

And because dis will most likely happen DON’T take too much to carry to de parade. Cash. Drink. Cellphone and de rag buh

 

You need to move about lightly. Carry your funds and cellphone safely, washcloth/hand towel, and plenty water.

… and een aftah you enjoy de day  DON’T DRINK & RIDE!

 Like. No translation needed here.